Road safety; setting an example; lecture on fitness and training; the diseases of cyclists.

Page 1

The editor’s column starts by suggesting those who’ve undertaken a summer tour could put pen to paper and submit stories for the magazine. 

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Next up, a suggestion that older and more experienced club members should be setting an example to younger members, and not just answering questions about bikes and cycling!

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Bob is obviously on a Road Safety committee, because he’s reporting on road sense and avoiding accidents. It’s been three years since the last serious accident involving a club member, and he wants to keep it that way. He even suggests helping out non-club cyclists by advising them on their bicycling technique and their machines!

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Two new members, of the ladies section are welcomed to the club.

Page 2

Report on the Lecture by Mr Thorne, the Athletic Adviser, Crooks Laboratories (see Issue No. 8). Mr Thorne appears to have conveyed some pretty clear advice on nutrition; the best way of breathing (his advice seems akin to playing a didgeridoo, however); energy needs in relation to sporting activity; can you damage your heart through excercise?; meals before racing. Concludes on page 3.

Page 3

Conclusion of the report on Mr Thorne’s lecture.

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An announcement to all club members: details of the Club Dinner, and some alternative ‘dance only’ tickets.

Page 4

Ivor Storey again! He’s still taunting about his identity; a member didn’t like what was written about him in the magazine and has left; claims he has to watch his step, or the committee will be after him; a suggestion that a member was so much in dread of the upcoming Cheltenham run that he set fire to the hostel; a cheeky comment about a girl in the club; a threat he’s have something for the club dinner issue; a peculiar taunt that’s set as an advert; a joke about Prangleys giving away freewheels - for free.

Letter to the Editor

Brian Hamer writes to thank those who took part in the camping expedition for their generosity and assistance.

Page 5

Page 5 consists of a light-hearted and amusing drinking tale, The Editor - subtitled ‘with apologies to ‘The Bosun’, by ‘Anonymous’ - it concludes on page 6.

Page 6

Conclusion of ‘The Editor’.

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Club ’30’ - On the Amersham course, 30th September. 13 riders with 6 starters and finishers, the event was won by Brian Major in 1:19:49

Club ’50’ - On the Amersham course, 6th September. 13 riders again, but two DNS and four DNF. The event was won by Colin Turner in 2:16:07

Page 7

The Diseases of Cyclists. Doctor Simmo seeks to explain several common cyclists’ ailments:

Cyclomania (contagious). Apparently this condition is frequently incurable (oh how true!). Symptoms appear predominantly to be an uncontrollable desire to ride a bicycle. The ‘cure’ appears to be to leave the patient to their own devices. Confining the patient does not help, as it leads to melancholia!

Majorea (not contagious).  Victim becomes violent aggressive, usually when they mount a bicycle - in severe cases leads to the patient trying to tear the bicycle to shreds while propelling it along! (continues page 8).

Page 8

Touring Notes by D. Saunders (Touring Secretary), announcing the club freewheeling content. He also tries to generate some support for the ‘classic’ Cleeve Hill hostelling run.

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The conclusion of the Diseases of Cyclists.

Majorea apparently also has the symptoms of foaming at the mouth and incoherent shouts. The condition is apparently incurable, but symptoms alleviated by a herbal brew known as MILDBEER. If this fails, withdrawal of all solid foods eventually leads to exhaustion, providing opportunities to get the patient under control.

More medical advice next issue!